"free my soul"

dang
[08:42 p.m.][Friday, July 30, 2004]

sian!!!!
im confined when im suppose to be out there having fun with peps... shit. this sucks. hm. so sorry cant meet you tonight... realli wanted to .. got so much to catch up about... yea... =( thats probably the worst thing man.. gosh.....
arghhhh

wakerS!!!
[03:55 a.m.][Saturday, April 3, 2004]

byebye'!!
[08:39 p.m.][Wednesday, January 7, 2004]

i've moved! i've moved to heaven!

hello kukbird

hello

how r u doing kukubird

im fine kuku bird

byebye'!!
[08:38 p.m.][Wednesday, January 7, 2004]

i've moved! i've moved to heaven!

byebye'!!
[08:38 p.m.][Wednesday, January 7, 2004]

i've moved!

byebye'!!
[08:38 p.m.][Wednesday, January 7, 2004]

merry christmas!
[08:29 a.m.][Thursday, December 25, 2003]

i wish you a merry christmas ,
i wish you a merry christmas.
i wish you a merry christmas,
and i happy new year!!! =)
this goes to all my friends of cos.

had quite a wonderful time sleeping at graces place, but tanny's house rocked man. haha. was soooo soooo fun!haha. i tell u it has everything to do with the company. The friends you can communicate with, the people you love, the pals you want to drink with! thats everything man. haha. let me see, there was my "drinkin buddy" kevinkong..haha. what happened to your alcohol tolerance??!? rusty the drunk last night.. he was just fightin to drink.. haha. wassup brudder! grace the normal crazy bestest. kevinwong the calm and peaceful. ym the drunk as well.. think she vomited. yiling the funny n cute. haha tanny the pretty host! haha. so long never see her cant remember how pretty she is le! hehex. Dingyi! always happy to see this guy. leo. the dude as well. cl. haha. bald cl. army sucks! jer+julin.. woah. love them. hmm. wonder if i missed anyone? haha. dun blame me im tired! its 830AM and i havent caught a single wink~ oh playing the guessin game with rus n kk n munkit was realli fun! haha. i am the kinggggggggggggggggggg!!!! hehex. alright kiiiddding.. didnt get drunk last nite. i realli muz hav gotten my mom's genes. thats a good thing.. Oh yea. so like the whole night and mornin was spent playin bridge, watchin harrypotter, rememberthetitans, benditlikebeckam and gladiator, playin drinkin games, playin at the parks. nice.haha. what a christmas wont u say. the only regret i have is not doin my christmas shoppin and not gettin anything for anyone! dang. muz work harder man.. i so love my friends love them so so much.. i love u!!!merry christmas

uberhunky
[03:44 p.m.][Sunday, December 21, 2003]

Woah. 1 whole week of rehearsals and fun comes to an end.. sigh~ will miss those guys.. esp xiongster, kenneth, clive, cayrn, gordon, lynn, ling, deanna, xianyun.. What a experience it is.. Realise it really IS such a small world! GOrdon is gawin's bro.. ya. and sam knows alvin tay.. and many more.. Somehow the chances of keepin contact in the future is slim but yea what the heck lets just enjoy the present where we love spendin time with each other! =) somehow my english feels kinda crappy today. haha
centro last nite was .. urm okie . not bad. caryn is really nice! :) thanks for the drink.. i'll buy u one another day... yeppo. nice party cos like i kept meetin ppl where ever i walked. its like so cool to interact with ppl in a way where both parties r so excited to talk to each other! haha.well.. allan won uberhunk n deanna uberbabe! congrads u 2!! love uboth! haha. but dang. caryn should have AT LEAST got into top 5 la.. so disappointing! haha. she is really pretty! hahaha. yes! i got my centro membership!! its more partyin for now! while i still got the cash .. and YOUTH. hehe.
k k my mom callin me go do some christmas stuff. i'll blog later. ciao

life is a jigsaw
[02:28 p.m.][Thursday, December 18, 2003]

everythin falls into place nicely sometimes..
met esther at china black. she likes me.
went with her to SOS on friday...
auditions on sat. Talked to yr after that. realised she doesnt like me. sad sat
sad sunday.
monday rehearsal fun. so many nice people. lotsa waiting. nick(the dancer) is damn cool . but im not gay.zhao bday at marche after that. nice. thx for the treat. lan at cine after that. cooler. i think i won everygame.hmm. somethin about winnin in 1 area of your life and losing in another?? yea how true.
tue fitting at flesh imp. solid. fun fun! took a neo print! haha. the guys are superb. lunch at lucky plaza. made our way down tog to serangoon gardens country club. rehearsal. as usual got all the nice ppl to talk to. dinner with eigene after that. caught up a little den i was so tired so retired early..
wed rehearsal at 230. worked most of the day this time. didnt even know it was six when it came.suppose to go airport after that. but esther had to meet her parents. i was like dang.. lookin forward to it! hmm. but its alright. den wanted to go bugis to meet parents to eat. but on the mrt, den caryn asked me go club at zouk that nite.. serious? yep. jumped on the wagon at first chance. sure! haha. so went home to rest b4 meetin the 2 girls at orchard mrt at 11. well supposedly 11. but they were late.. so i hooked up with 2 breakers at orchard mrt. apparently one is called joanne.. yep. there were cool and really nice. learnt a couple of stuff. and now i've got ppl to break with! haha. they came at abt 1120. caryn was in this really really nice tube top and demin short skirt. wah she looked stunnin. but i didnt dare tell her of cos. haha. her cuz was nice~ nice knowing her also. Took a 16 down to zouk.. wah 20 bucks entry.. boo so ex. nvm. phuture was Soooo crowded! haa. but fun i like dancing. met ervin yusof and rozzie~ how unexpected. hee. i just love clubbin . boggied there till abt 2 den we went to check out zouk. haha. gays all ard! so my mom was right. zouk IS a gay club! haha. it was seriously totally funny. there were ppl standin on the podiums and they were like doing actions to compliment the songs! haha. gay gay gay! but really entertaining. haha. i went so exposed and vulnerable! like had eyes on me. lol. i wonder how many times my ass got touched! haha. met zhiwei and shuan? or ray? cant differentiate the twins. haha. yea and the breaker from jitter. nice to see ppl u know. oh kit and shermeen was there as well. neat! back to phuture after that 4 a while b4 headin home in a cab. another 15 bucks.. had initial plans to drop by a 7-11 to grab some booze n food but nah. it'll burn holes in my pocket so i passed. got home bathed. chatted with weizhi a little before blackin out at 3 plus.

Its really interesting how life plays you and twirls your emotions.
like how no airport got dinner with parents. no dinner got clubbing at zouk.
like esther likes me (or thats wat ppl tell me). and yirong doesnt
how i meet new friends from uberture when my old friends r busy.. hmmm

life life life. sigh. i miss yirong..

LibErAtiOn with the capital L
[11:27 a.m.][Tuesday, September 23, 2003]

finally!. yesterday can easily go down as one of the coolest day in the history of my puny life. AFter the stupid phy paper, zhao, mark, da hui, fiona n me went down to cine to bowl haha. Its quite excitin when you're rushing to bowl the max number of games in an hour! almost like there is a queue behind the lane! haha. worth it. 5 of us played 3.5 games each. paid only 6 buck.hehehe.and the lane/ball quality aint too shaby man. dahui is the bowlin pro~~ nvm.i was crankin all the way. haha. not bad. i like the thrill more than the score~ way cool man! lunchy was at long john silvers. damn! there was this gay wearing a spag strap and pink shorts! scary! think he kept lookin at us. YuCk! How i knoW? cos like when we were leavin, i turned back, and i saw both of them starin at us! gosh... think they were interested in marks chest or something. lol. (btw, think LongJohn food is really starting to sucksucksuck!) Caught italian job at 220. I AM GOING TO GET A BMW MINI COOPER!! mark my words people. hahaha. well maybe. But gosh the car was so cool in the car. ToTaLlY worth the money. maybe even more man. at least 7.50 (zhao). YEa! Think the plot n all the details put into the show is quite cool, comparable to oceans 11.. mami the show was nice la! oh did i mention, mami nicky des n say ho caught the exact same show! mark mark wanted to play pool after that, but dahui didnt have a shirt, so i thought "dont play betta". Aint it nice, just walking down orchard without that 10kg burden on your back. ooo.. Felt so FrEEEeeeeeeeee, the shackles on my feet are gone, my wings unclipped! woooooo. im flying!!! hehe. stopped by kino for a while to check out some books n mags before heading home to rest for the night.hehe 1. talked to my neighbour, he even asked me to join their cell group! 2. spent quality time with my sis. Even took some nice photos with her~ 3. Jing jing 2 cute 2 be true. 4. angel, da hui, maggie and go eat shiT! i HATE them. dun know how i can get so emotional involved in this show.. but darn i am. The "prelims can go suck it" party was supposed to start at 930. haha. Guess what. it started way b4 that.( was expected everyone to be late. dun they sure did disappoint me! =p)haha. Met fiona at the bus stop at 905 before headin to zhao house to disturb him.. haha. ZhAO! u take dAmn long to bath! bet u using all the conditioner, moisturizer, skin scrub blar blar blar right! dun fake! lol. Was cyclin (actually fiona was cyclin n i was walkin) down lentor terrace den we saw marky marky on the small bike. lol. that chest on that bike. haha. think hulk hogan on a baby chair. hahaha. bball was next! was rather hard to play in the dark though.. plus we were all rather tired by den. hehe. hui hui came soon after, in this BIG dark green merc . though i didnt tell him,// woah its cool! // Swimming followed. Guess my secret place aint that secret anymore! Was initially thinkin abt saving that place for.. ahem ahem, but i thought abt it. I'm not gonna keep this place to myself! thats selfish.. Its not as if its rivalry or what right. (though it may not be as special for her =| ) Hope you peps appreciate and like the place...! well i know u guys did. hehe. xbox time! haha. mark n zhao hogged the machine most of the time!! but its okie.. fiona the sleepin beauty(?)[lol] fell asleep so early! understandable. But she kinda missed out on the noodles/bread/tv/bridge! hehe. oh ya played a little bridge supper.haha. didnt win much, but mark was in the top form i see. He won a 5 diamonds i think. nice! haha. the last game quite dramatic. we played down to the last card. thank goodness i saved my ace of clubs..hahaha. mark n zhao continued on their never ending fifa battle while me hui n fiona slept whats left of the nite away... zzzzz... Oh and to top EveRythin up, there was some people that i wanted to msg who i WAS indeed msging. haha. so that adds on to the perfect day know. =) tsk tsk. a little guilt though. we havin so much fun without jon grace n kev. =( nvm, tonight alright. tonight! oooooo today is tuE!!!~! means ..hahaha yey. can i remember this day forever? ever and ever? ever ever ever?? i know i will. Cos there are many more to come with this group of ... angels beside me. =) Quote of the day "its so nice to have a classmate(Zhao) living so close to you" - Fiona "Hey, he aint a classmate anymore girl *sniggers* " -nick

sweet november
[09:55 p.m.][Sunday, September 14, 2003]

"if i leave now, all that we have would be perfect. you are my immortality. It is this memory that will give me life." im going to have mine

headache! headbanging!!!!
[09:48 p.m.][Saturday, September 13, 2003]

"im just a girl!!!" lalalalalal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fucking sian know
[02:45 p.m.][Saturday, September 6, 2003]

i dun feel like studying i dun feel like doing anything. pissed off. just wasting my life away. i dun even feel like going out with anyone. that spells trouble man. sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian sian . i dunno what i feel like doing. just woke up from a 2 hour sleep. markks having church zhao ham grace dunno jon dunno kev song?studyin...asdflkasjdfal;ksjdf.as,jdf/lkasjdvlasdlfkasm,nfvjkalsndfl;akjnsvflkansdfkjvnaiuwehawvouh2093u84520934u5'-p193u5;ljh lkjhdfgklj ahdgkjha akjhgkljahkjlvha lksjhnakljsvhfkjasnhvkjfhsakjvf 1asl;kdfa lskdjf lksjdflk asjdfkjsad lvkjsdlvjkfsdmvlksdmfdmvlksdmkdmdvaskdjmfkasjdvfldskmfvlksjdfv will someone pls call me?

[03:38 p.m.][Monday, September 1, 2003]

brother. if u dun pull yourself together, you'll fail. come on now! pick up a book. Do It!
i know its hard to make the first move, but its the most important one!
stop it! stop digressing from your focus.
your focus is studies. And study you must! now now now!
now or never man.
freak. im disappointed with myself.!

i need help from myself.

once again
[03:38 p.m.][Saturday, August 30, 2003]

gotta remind myself again abt love.
its all about giving.
loving without thought of yourself.
unselfish unselfish unselfish my friend.

time to study

music
[04:26 p.m.][Thursday, August 28, 2003]

haa. im nuts!!!
my mood can change like woah!
heex.

feel no shame!!
coz times dun change...

hey now!

lost
[12:06 p.m.][Wednesday, August 27, 2003]

the battle has just started and i lost already.
i seem to have changed. i no longer who i used to be, or at least who i want to be. Is this who really am? that is resigning to my true self?
the day is gonna fade away, its like im staring down the skies..things never go as planned.
i need to recover as soon as possible...
but how?? can someone help me? honestly, i myself dont see any solution. there is nothing really for me to look forward to . Except maybe dance.
Its so hard being me.

damage
[10:15 p.m.][Tuesday, August 26, 2003]

im sick of studying.
i wanna dance my heart out, watching movies, holding people close.
music keeps me going.... going going going all over.

yea rite
[12:32 a.m.][Tuesday, August 26, 2003]

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

ouch!
[09:33 a.m.][Sunday, August 24, 2003]

the best time to show fortitude is when facing mission impossible. Its times like these that you shouldnt give up even all hope seems lost. hahaha.
this line is gonna pull me through
"Nothing is gonna stop me from enjoying today, not even tomorrow."

yes. haha. guess reality is like that(no it doesnt suck). Our relationship has to change constantly for us to survive. It isnt that difficult to be who you want to be. It really isnt.
Nah. There is no such thing as a relationship wasted. Even Angie was great. The times we shared, the fun we enjoyed, the love we had.. yep. Never regret. The only heartache should be our current "not even friends" status. hmmm i wonder why.

yep... lala... i still believe in fairy tales, everything in the story except for the last line.The "they live happily ever after". Really, i believe that such meetings do happen, such spontaneous loving relationships. At least they sure to comfort and assure me. hahaha.

once bitten twice shy?
i gonna learn how to make snake soup man